To My Prodigal Siblings

The parable of the prodigal son captures, ever so beautifully, the rise and fall of man. For those unfamiliar with the story, a man had two sons. One day, the younger one decided he wanted to explore the world to its fullest, so he asked his father for his share of the inheritance—and his father gave it to him. He made all kinds of friends and did all kinds of things, essentially blowing through his entire inheritance. He lost all the people he met along the way. He was broke and homeless. At one point, he was on a farm eating the same food as the pigs—and if you know, then you know… he was down bad.

While he was there, he thought to himself, “Yo, I could literally go back home and ask to be a servant. At least servants get better food than this.” On his walk back home, he was practicing the speech he was going to give his dad. He was still a distance away, yet his father saw him and ran to him—I’m talking track-runner speed. He was so elated to see that his son had come back. The son started saying his little speech, but the father paid no mind. Instead, he demanded that his son be clothed with the finest robe and ring, and that a big feast be prepared. He said, “I’m glad, because my son was lost, but now he has been found.”

Oftentimes, when people talk about this story, they focus on the son going out to live a sinful life and then returning to a loving father. But I think another important aspect of this story is what happened when the son was at his lowest—eating with the pigs. He believed he deserved it. There was no reason, in his mind, for him to even be considered a son anymore. He left his father’s house, so why should he deserve his father? That moment… is the one I want to magnify.

I have experienced my fair share of disappointment, loss, failure, shame—you name it. But nothing compares to feeling all of that all at once like I did in 2024.  I felt like such a bum, like I deserved the lowest form of everything. I didn’t feel like eating. I didn’t feel like working out. I didn’t feel like talking to my friends. I didn’t even feel like talking, period (which is saying something considering the name of this blog).

There were moments when I didn’t feel like I deserved another chance at life, yet every day, much to my disappointment, I was given another opportunity. I didn’t understand why. I had drifted so far from God that even coming back to Him felt like I would be jolted with electricity. You know that feeling when you rub your feet on carpet and then touch someone and shock them? Yeah… that feeling.

I just felt like I must have done something so bad that God didn’t love me or care for me. I figured not being around would make His job easier. Because I didn’t get it. Why bring certain people into my life just for them to hurt me or leave like I didn’t matter? Why bring certain opportunities just for them to be false promises? Why give me pockets of joy just to have them ripped away so suddenly? I just couldn’t understand.

So, like the prodigal son, I sat in my metaphorical mud with the pigs. It felt comfortable there because at least I didn’t have to deal with the disappointment that was my life. I didn’t have to deal with the mistakes or choices I made that led me here. I didn’t want to burden my loved ones with how I was really feeling or the intensity of my helplessness. 

I could just be in my own stink.

Let me tell you a little something about odor. After a while, you really won’t be able to stand the stench. You’ll want to come up for air. And so that’s what I did. Instead of spending all day in bed, I would get up and go into the living room to be around my family. I would get excited on Friday nights, knowing that I had church the next day. I started slowly texting friends. I even (by force from my friends, actually) went on a little trip to Texas.

The only thing I wasn’t doing that well was going back to God. I always like to tell people that I have one of the most honest relationships with God. If I’m mad, irritated, hurt, frustrated, confused, or even feeling betrayed by Him—I let Him know. I knew coming back to God would mean some kind of transformation, but I was afraid. I was afraid to let Him back in because, after all, how could a God who loves His children and has all these amazing plans for them watch what I’m going through and do nothing?

How could I allow my heart to trust Him when it felt like He shattered it? 

But I knew I had to.

In February of 2025, I participated in the Hallelujah Challenge, and it definitely awakened something in me. I began to find that joy and peace in God once more. It gave me the push I needed to seek His presence more every day. However, I’ll admit that once the challenge was over, I found myself back in that place of awkwardly navigating my relationship with God. It’s like I knew I had to talk to Him, but I didn’t know what to say—or if I even wanted to.

But you know what’s the beautiful thing about God? He will meet you exactly where you are. He will sit with you in your stink. I’m reminded of Psalm 139, which tells us that no matter where we go, God is always there. Over the last year, I have come to understand one of the most beautiful characteristics of God—His patience. He will never force you to talk to Him or even have a relationship with Him. He will simply continue being God, and eventually, you’ll remember who He is.

But then you think you have to bargain your way back into His life—preparing the most elaborate presentation. Meanwhile, all He wants is you. Nothing else but you. He already knew that you were going to leave and do whatever you wanted. And He also knew that you would come back, where He would be ready to welcome you with open arms. He celebrates your return because hell lost another one. You were lost, and now you’re found.

I have seen that come to pass in my life. Returning to my relationship with God has not been easy, but my, my, my… has it been rewarding. It makes you never want to leave His presence that way again. God will clothe you with the finest garments and jewels—people, opportunities, and blessings. And you might even question why it’s happening to you. But what I’ve found is that God’s love is so immense, so unfathomable… He simply wants you to be part of His life and part of His heart.

So, to my prodigal siblings—whether you’ve already started your journey back or you’re still sitting in your “mud” trying to figure out how to get up—this is for you:

You are not too far gone.
You are not too broken.
And you are not too late.

I know what it feels like to think you have to clean yourself up before going back. To rehearse the perfect speech. To convince yourself that maybe you can just come back as a servant instead of a child.

But the truth is… God was never waiting for a speech. He was waiting for you.

Because just like in the story, the moment you decide to turn back—even from a distance—your Father is already running toward you. Not walking. Not hesitating.

Running.

So take the step. Even if it’s small. Even if it feels awkward. Even if all you have is honesty. Because He will meet you there.

And not only will He welcome you back…
He will celebrate you.


Love always,

God's Most Talkative Child

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